Breath Prayer 006
Heal my body in these painful moments. Heal our brokenness as only You could.
Sometimes the words I share seem so trivial, but are infinitely sacred. The last few weeks as we all begin a new calendar year, I’ve focused alternated between being hyperfocused on my body and almost forgetting it exists. When I say my body, not the appearance of my physical body, but how I feel, how I take up space, the strains and cracks that come with my twenty-five-year-old flesh.
After years of mental illness and disordered eating, I rest upon the place of finding my body simultaneously holy and broken, like bits of a shattered stained glass window. It bears the stretch marks of overeating, the tension knots of late evenings working, the patch of ance from anxious picking, the curves of genes passed from mother to daughter, the strained brain churning with decisions, the dirty feet that must be washed before bed, the wrinkled skin around eyes – memories of past joys.
Instead of doing everything to avoid living in my body, I have now taken up daily residence in these bones and skin. My own years of ignorance caused many of these sore muscles and aching thoughts.
I don’t have much to share today, but the small prayer I’ve repeated to myself over the last few days bouncing between listening to my body and “pushing through it”.